While I have not kept up with the latest Duggar crap, nor watch their creepy ‘reality’ show, I was reading a Facebook post that my daughter had shared:
and though I do feel for the wife/mother/victim, this is one sentence that jumped out at me.
“Even if she would risk that, she has no education and no work experience to fall back on, so how does she support her kids?”
The assumption, of course, is that SHE will be the one who must provide all, if not the majority, of the financial support for THEIR children. A truly crap part of our society and so-called child support system. The father gets to walk away from his responsibilities and simply provide a token amount of $s to the support of lives that he helped to create.
One reason that women will never be ‘equal’ financially, because we are not equal in terms of how we view commitment and responsibility — and love.
My daughter sent me this recently.
I have mixed feelings about it. 😉
Just last night (2a.m.) I was made aware of some very, shall we say, extremely unacceptable actions perpetrated by my daughter’s now-ex-boyfriend, against my precious daughter.
Suffice it to say, this ‘man’ — and I use that word loosely — better hope he doesn’t run into me in a dark alley right now.
One aspect that caused me the most sadness is that she didn’t feel like she could tell me about the incidents — back when they had actually occurred. She said she was embarrassed. Of course, she had/has nothing to be embarrassed about. And if he-who-shall-not-be-named had the moral compass to be embarrassed himself, as he rightly should have been, then things would never have escalated to the point they did.
On the flip side, one aspect that gave me the most relief is the number of true friends of her’s that rallied around her to offer support, pep talks, and their time. It’s good to know that in the event she has a boyfriend that turns out to be a shmuck, she does still have REAL friends. What a shame though, since a boyfriend should ultimately be your BEST friend.
A thought that (re)occurred to me was that maybe I have been being selfish all these years — by not making an effort to actually find a relationship of my own. By not setting an example for her of what a good, healthy, fun, fantastic relationship can, and should, be between a couple.
I do admit that I am sometimes lonely… that I do actually enjoy being ‘one half of a whole’… and that maybe I’ve failed in this aspect of setting a good example for my kid. Goodness knows her father has never set a good example for her, in any aspect of life. Guess it falls to me as a ‘true single parent’ to try and get this part of my life in order.
I think I’ve gotten back to a good frame of mind, one where I can make a concerted effort to improve myself physically and mentally. Started back again on 1 February to clean up my diet and get away from a/n (almost) sedentary lifestyle.
* Exercise more in order to feel (and look) good physically.
* Continue to repair the strength to my shoulder (damage from accident).
* Once and for all complete the myriad of sewing projects cluttering my life.
* Clean out the excess ‘unnecessary plastic objects’ residing with us, to streamline the household.
* Take stock of the actual ‘things’ I own that cost money, and try and reduce some of that burden (cars, I find, are a weakness of mine).
* Help my daughter attain her goals related to independence.
* Seek out opportunities to socialize more with new people and in new environments.
Here’s hoping! 🙂